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Christmas

We had grandma for Christmas dinner ?
Really, we had turkey !

Whats happens if you eat the Christmas decorations ?
You get tinsel-itus !

What beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake
Tarzipan !

Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ?
No you can have turkey like everyone else !

What did the big cracker say to the little cracker ?
My pop is bigger than yours !

Who is never hungry at Christmas ?
The turkey – he’s always stuffed !

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.

What’s a good holiday tip?
Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
Because every buck is dear to him.

How does Al Gore’s household keep Christmas politically correct?
On Christmas morning, they give the presents TO the tree.

What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
Sandy Claus!

What goes Ho, Ho, Swoosh, Ho, Ho, Swoosh?
Santa caught in a revolving door!

Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it "soots" him!

How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer "Olive" ?
Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

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