The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd.

1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse. (c) After wrecking your boss’s car.

3. Any Man who brings a […]

British Investment Plan

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have £49.00 today. If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have £33.00 today. If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have £0.00 today. But,if you […]

Stopped by Police at Midnight

A man is stopped by the police at midnight and asked where he’s going.

“I’m on the way to listen to a lecture about the effects of alcohol and drug abuse on the human body.”

The policeman asks, “Really?

And who’s going to give a lecture at this time of night?”

“My wife”, comes […]

The Head

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just "a head"! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.

After 18 years, […]

Health Questions and Answers

Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your […]

The Beer Scooter

How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night drinking and thought, "How on earth did I get home?" As hard as you try, you cannot piece together your return journey from the pub to your home.

The answer to this puzzle is that you used a Beer Scooter.

[…]

The Retrosexual Man

Please allow me to vent. I have had it. I’ve taken all I can stand and I can’t stand no more. Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is effeminate men prancing about, Redecorating houses and talking about foreign concepts like "style" and "feng shui." Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; […]

2003 Darwin Awards

Yes, these are all true. They are finally out again. It’s an annual honor given to the person who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. Last year’s winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him […]

Four Worms

Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a jar of sperm. The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.

After one day:

The first worm, […]

Beer Warnings

Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association’s suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a wanker.

WARNING: […]