Prime Minister Rudd

Prime Minister of Australia, Kevin Rudd decides it is time to do some public relations at a local Canberra nursing home.

The Prime Minister begins his "tour" down the main hallway and passes by a little old man who doesn’t seem to notice him.

Sensing this, Prime Minister Rudd backtracks to the resident and asks, […]

The Earthquake in Pakistan

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter Scale has hit Pakistan . Two million Pakistanis have died and over a million are injured. The country is totally ruined, and the government doesn’t know where to start, with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock. The USA […]

Patrick

Patrick walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the corner of the room, drinking a sip out of each pint in turn.  When he had finished all three, he went back to the bar and ordered three more.   The barman says, "You know a pint goes flat […]

International Security Alerts

Done this before, but it’s funny. OK?

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats, and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since […]

International Security Levels

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all […]

Two Kiwi Beggars in Australia

Bruce and Trevor are 2 Kiwi beggars. They beg in different areas of Bondi, Sydney.

Bruce begs just as long as Trevor but only collects $2 to $3 every day.

Trevor brings home a suitcase full of $10 notes, drives a Mercedes,

Lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.

[…]

A Box of Fresh Crabs

A man boarded an airplane in Sydney, Australia with a box of fresh crabs. A female crew member took it from him and promised to secrete it in the crew’s own refrigerator, which she did for the duration of the long trip.

Shortly before landing, she couldn’t remember who gave her the package, so she […]

A Cowboy Walks Into a Bar…

A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of Bud and sits in the back room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat […]

An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scotsman on Pubs

An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar in Sydney, Australia. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, and the food exceptional. "But" said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. Why in Glasgow there’s a little bar called McTavish’s. Now the landlord there goes out of his way […]

Ode to Australians

WE, the people of a free nation of blokes, sheilas and the occasional wanker. We come from many lands (although a few too many of us come from New Zealand) and although we live in the best country in the world, we reserve the right to bitch and moan about it whenever we bloody like. […]