There were three men in a bar. All three were sitting at the bar stool and one got up to use the bathroom. The other two men started talking. One man said, "So what’s new in your life?"
The other responded, "Well I just found out my son got a promotion. He used to be […]
A man walked into a bar room one day. He walked up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I’d like to buy the house a round of drinks". The bartender said, "No problem sir, but I’ll need to see some money first". The guy pulls out a huge wad of bills and sets them on […]
Two fleas from Saskatchewan had an agreement to meet every winter in Phoenix for a vacation.
Last year when one flea gets to Phoenix, he’s all blue, shivering and shaking, nearly frozen to death!
The other flea asks him, ‘What happened to you?’
The first flea says, I rode down here from Tobin Lake, […]
A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of Bud and sits in the back room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat […]
An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar in Sydney, Australia. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, and the food exceptional. "But" said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. Why in Glasgow there’s a little bar called McTavish’s. Now the landlord there goes out of his way […]
Reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses:
"Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?"
"The youngest son, […]
A guy walked into a bar and ordered a triple scotch. The bartender poured him the drink and the guy drank it down in one gulp.
"Wow," said the bartender. "Something bad musta happened."
"I came home early today," answered the guy. "I went up to the bedroom, and there was my wife having […]
Three guys go into a bar: a guy from Dallas, a guy from San Francisco, and a guy from Boulder. They drank and got a little rowdy. Suddenly, completely without warning, the Texan grabbed a bottle of tequila, unscrewed the top, took a good swig, and threw the bottle into the air. He then jerked […]
Guy meets a girl in a bar and after talking for a few minutes he asks her name. She replies Carmen, and he says that’s one of his favourite names. He asks if her mother named her and she says that she actually changed her name to Carmen. When he asked why, she replied because […]
A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?"
The girl says, "I don’t like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn’t dance with you."
The guy says, "I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants."