This bloke had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing. So the bloke stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will […]
Stevie Wonder is playing his 1st gig in China and the place is packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice he asks if anyone has a request.
One chap jumps out of his seat in the 1st row and shouts at the top of his voice "Play a jazz chord ! […]
A man wakes up in hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says "Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now you probably won’t remember but you were in a pile-up on the motorway. You’re going to be OK, you’ll walk again and everything, but something happened. I’m trying to break this […]
Bob liked to frequent the Newfoundland beaches but was never able to attract the girls. He decided to ask his friend Garge the lifeguard for advice.
"It’s those big baggy swimming trunks that make you look like an old bloke.
They’re years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Speedos […]
There are two Mexicans who have been lost in the desert for weeks, and they’re at death’s door. As they stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something similar, they suddenly spy, through the heat haze, a tree off in the distance.
As they get closer they can see that […]
A young bloke has started work on a property, and the boss sends him up the back paddocks to do some fencing work, but come evening he’s half an hour late. The boss gets on the CB radio to check if he’s all right.
"I’ve got a problem, Boss. I’m stuck ‘ere. I’ve hit a […]
A bloke goes into a supermarket and buys:
one tin of beans one bag of crisps one pack of burgers one tub of ice-cream one cake one yoghurt one pint of milk
He takes them over to the blonde checkout girl, and she looks at what he has bought and asks if he is single. […]