Anger Management

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know, but you know deserves it.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I’d forgotten to make.

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The Modest Man in Hospital

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.

Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhoea and was embarrassed beyond his […]

To the Citizens of the United States of America

To the citizens of the United States of America…

In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and […]

A Large Wooden Horse

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! IF YOU RECEIVE A GIFT IN THE SHAPE OF A LARGE WOODEN HORSE DO NOT DOWNLOAD IT!!!! IT IS EXTREMELY DESTRUCTIVE AND WILL OVERWRITE YOUR ENTIRE CITY! The "gift" is disguised as a large wooden horse about two stories tall. It tends to show up outside the city gates and appears to […]

The Jaguar XK140

A young blonde female stock broker was bored with driving her BMW. It lacked individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible. That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully […]

The Amazon Explorer

An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a large bloodthirsty group of savage natives. He quietly says out loud, "Oh God, I’m screwed!" Suddenly, there is a ray of light from above and a voice booms out, "No, you’re not screwed yet. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash […]

Survival Guide for Taking a Dump

Memorize these definitions and crapping at work will become a pure pleasure.

ESCAPEE

Definition: A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a crap in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic/embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an […]