Calvin

Apparently, one in five people in the world is Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It’s either my mum or my dad or maybe my older brother Calvin or my younger brother Ho-Chin. But I’m pretty sure it’s Calvin.

A “Phone Call”

A Husband and Wife agreed that anytime they want to have sex, they will call it a PHONE CALL so that the kids will not decode… One day they had a fight and wife stopped talking to the husband and they were talking to each other thru kids. The husband said to his son – […]

From the Mouths of Children…

1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm Summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!"

[…]

Joe and the Dishes

Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn’t have much luck until one day, he comes across a Harley with a ‘for sale’ sign on it.   The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.   He immediately buys it, […]

Fried Chicken

Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right, everyone else in the class laughed. My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what […]

Little Johnny and the new Baby

Little Johnnie’s neighbour had a baby.

Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.

When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie’s family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnnie’s dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

[…]

The Daughter’s Vibrator

As a woman passed her daughter’s closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator.

Shocked, she asked: ‘what in the world are you doing?’

The daughter replied: ‘mom, I’m thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close […]

The Head

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just "a head"! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.

After 18 years, […]

Taking the Dog for a Walk

A little girl asks her Mum, "Mum, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?"

Her Mum replies, "No, because she is in heat."

"What does that mean?" asked the child.

"Go and ask your father. I think he is in the garage."

The little girl goes out to the […]

The 50th Wedding Anniversary

A man and his wife were about to celebrate 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful and wealthy, agreed to a Sunday dinner in honour of their parents. As usual, they were all late and had a varied assortment of excuses.

"Happy anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed son number one . . . […]