The Daughter’s Vibrator

As a woman passed her daughter’s closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator.

Shocked, she asked: ‘what in the world are you doing?’

The daughter replied: ‘mom, I’m thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close […]

A Father’s Rules on Dating his Daughter

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot […]

The Family Poem

Many, many years ago when I was twenty-three,  I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be.  This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red.  My father fell in love with her, and soon the two were wed.  This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life.  […]

The Last Day of Kindergarten

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher. The florist’s son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is–it’s some flowers!" "That’s right!" Shouted the little boy. Then the candy store owner’s daughter handed the teacher a […]

The Diagnostic Computer

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."  "Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There’s a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and […]

The Perfect Woman

An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the God-given responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce children beyond comparison.

With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman. After a diligent, but fruitless, search up and down the east coast, he started to head west. Shortly thereafter he met […]

How Yodelling Began

Have you ever wondered where and how yodelling began?… Well, here ya’ go…. Back in the olden days, a man was travelling through Switzerland. Nightfall was rapidly approaching, and the man had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night. The farmer told him […]

First Sex

Simon pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Brian where he’d first had sex.

"It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day plainly. It was a warm summer day. She and I were so much in love. We walked down to the tree and made love […]

The Screw

The father was very anxious to marry off his only daughter so he wanted to impress her date. 

"Do you like to screw," he says. 

"Huh" replied the surprised first date. 

"My daughter she loves to screw and she’s good at it, you and her should go screw," carefully explained the father. 

Now very interested […]

Yodelling

There were two brothers who were national yodelling champions. One day their car broke down out in the middle of nowhere and they had to put up at a farmhouse. As fate would have it there was a beautiful farmer’s daughter at the house.

The two brothers had a way of communicating over several miles […]