The Bounced Cheque

Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.

By my calculations, three ‘nanoseconds’ must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the […]

The Twelve Days of Christmas

December 14, 1972

My dearest darling John:

Who ever in the whole world would dream of getting a real Partridge in a Pear Tree? How can I ever express my pleasure. Thank you a hundred times for thinking of me this way.

My love always, Agnes

December 15, 1972

Acme Costume Company

A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn’t know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem.

A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed […]

The Hollywood Agent

This good looking, multi-talented man walks into an agent’s office in Hollywood and says "I want to be a movie star. " Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials.

The agent asked, "What’s your name?"

The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian."

The agent said, "Sir, I hate […]