The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd.

1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse. (c) After wrecking your boss’s car.

3. Any Man who brings a […]

From the Mouths of Children…

1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm Summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!"

[…]

Analogies and Metaphors

Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year’s winners.

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides […]

Productive Salesmanship

The kids filed back into class Monday morning.

They were very excited. Their weekend homework was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: "I sold biscuits and I made $30," she said proudly. "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I credit that […]

Analalogies and Metaphors in High School Essays

Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year’s winners.

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides […]

A Tourist Visiting Dallas

While sightseeing, a tourist visiting Dallas, Texas came upon a wild dog attacking a little girl. He swiftly caught the animal and strangled it with his bare hands.

A reporter who witnessed the event applauded the tourist’s actions and told him the newspaper headline of the next day would be, "Courageous Hometown Man Rescues Child […]

Bored?

Things you can do with absolutely nothing…

Push your eyes for interesting light show: (Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes. Try to make out things – is your subconscious trying to send you a message? Can you control what you see by pressing different areas with different forces? Would […]

Productive Salesmanship

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and […]

Another Shipwreck

A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck.  Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realised that they were stranded on a deserted island.

After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every […]

Rotweiler

A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?"

"Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about it?"

"Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him…"

"What are you talkin’ about?!" the biker says, disbelievingly. "How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?"

"Well, […]