A Bachelor Went to Europe

A bachelor who lived at home with his mother and pet cat went on a trip to Europe. Before he left he told his best friend to inform him of any emergencies. A few days after his departure, his cat climbed up on the roof, fell off and was killed. His friend immediately wired him […]

The Stowaway

A young blonde woman in Sydney was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing  herself from the Harbour Bridge .

She went down to the bridge and was about to leap into the frigid  water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the  Bridge crying.

He […]

Bob and Betty Hill

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe… As it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts […]

Yogi Bera at St Louis

"It is wonderful to be here in St. Louis and to visit the old neighborhood. I haven’t been back since the last time I was here. Everything looks the same, only different. Of course, things in the past are never as they used to be.

"Before I speak, I have something I’d like to say. […]

Dopey

The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are "the seven dwarfs," they get ushered in to see the Pope.

Dopey leads the pack.

"Dopey my son," says the Pope, "what can I do for you?"

Dopey asks, "Excuse me, Your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"

[…]

Ode to Australians

WE, the people of a free nation of blokes, sheilas and the occasional wanker. We come from many lands (although a few too many of us come from New Zealand) and although we live in the best country in the world, we reserve the right to bitch and moan about it whenever we bloody like. […]

Questions by Attorneys

Reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses:

"Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?"

"The youngest son, […]

The Actual Creation

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him on the seventh day, having a rest. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael! Look what I […]

The Woman and the Sailor

A young woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier crying.

He took pity on her and […]

Hitler’s General Staff Meeting

Adolf Hitler was conducting a General Staff meeting, when somebody sneezed.

"Who vas zat!?" shouted Hitler, whirling around from a wall map of Europe. Nobody said anything.

"I see," he said, "I vill haff 10 of you shot. Und maybe zen you vill tell me who schneezed, ja?" A Gestapo agent took 10 people out […]