Farting Loudly

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.

The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she […]

How to Shower

How to Shower like a woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror – make mental note to do more […]

President Obama in London

As Air Force One arrives at Heathrow Airport, President Obama strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen.

They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London, where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They continue on towards Buckingham Palace, waving to […]

The Exclusive Nudist Colony

A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says "Did you call for me?". The man replies […]

How to Shower

How to Shower – Like A Woman

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry basket according to lights and darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.

3. Look at […]

Monty Python’s Philosopher’s Song

I always wanted to know the words to Monty Python’s Philosopher’s Song. Here they are, forever on Grime:

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant Who was very rarely stable Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar Who could think you under the table David Hume could out consume Schopenhauer and Hegel And Wittgenstein was a […]

A Lady Walks in to a BMW Dealership

A lady walks into a BMW dealership. She browses around, then spots the perfect car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person […]

Next Time You’re in a Car

Next time you are in a car with a friend, and you pull up to a red light, look at the guy in the car next to you. Roll down your window really fast (like you want to talk to him), and when the guy rolls HIS window down, look at him and yell:

"Oh, […]

Fart Football

An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says, "Seven Points." His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"

The old man replied, "It’s fart football."

A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, […]

Touchdown

An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying in bed for a few minutes the old man cuts a fart and says, "Seven points." His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" "Touchdown. I’m ahead 7 to nothing." A few minutes later the wife lets one go […]