The Woman Robot

The Japanese have invented the perfect woman robot. It has 5 buttons.

Fuck Suck Cook Clean Off

The Stuttering Cat

Little Johnny is sitting in a biology class, and the teacher says that an interesting phenomenon of nature is that only humans stutter, no other animal in the world does this.

Johnny’s hand shoots up. "Not correct, Miss!" he says.

"Please explain, Johnny," replies the teacher.

"Well, Miss, the other day I was playing with […]

The Twelve Days of Christmas

My Dearest Darling John,

I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful gift. Thank you darling for the lovely thought.

Your ever loving, Agnes.

15th December

My Dearest John,

Today the postman brought two very sweet turtle doves. I am delighted. They are adorable.


Golfer or Skydiver

What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?

Bad Golfer: "Whack!" "Fuck!"

Bad Skydiver: "Fuck!!" "Whack!!"