The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd.

1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse. (c) After wrecking your boss’s car.

3. Any Man who brings a […]

Really?

Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5.

Sincerely, Unicorns

 

Dear Twilight fans,

Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.

Enjoy fantasizing about that.

Sincerely, Logic

 

Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global […]

Joe and the Dishes

Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn’t have much luck until one day, he comes across a Harley with a ‘for sale’ sign on it.   The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.   He immediately buys it, […]

The Blonde in Coach

A beautiful young blonde woman boards a plane to LA with a ticket for the coach section. She looks at the seats in coach and then looks ahead to the first class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one. […]

The Sexual Urges of Men and Women

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were […]

The White Haired Man and the Jewellery Store

An older, white haired man walked into a jewellery store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side.

He told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him.

The […]

Somebody Stole My Car

A man walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand.

A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, Can I help you, sir?

Yesssh! Schomebody schtole my car! the man replies.

The cop asks, "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"

"It wasssch at […]

Rules for Men

I’m not usually taken by these lists, but this one is an exception…

Men

Thou shall not rent the movie "Chocolat" Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers. When you are queried by […]

Bailey’s and Lime

This guy and his girlfriend head to the local bar. The girl says she’ll be happy to pick up the round as she’s heard of a new drink she wants him to try. She gets back to the table and has two drinks for him. One is a measure of Bailey’s. The other full of […]

The Australian Olympic Swim Team

A young swimmer from the Australian Olympic team manages to sneak his new girlfriend, a gorgeous Danish gymnast, into his room at the Olympic Village. Once she’s inside, he quickly switches out all the lights and they rapidly disrobe and leap onto his bed in a flurry of athletic achievement. 

After about twenty minutes of […]