I went to Home Depot recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented ‘you’re definitely going to shit yourself’ road-kill chili. Tasty stuff, although hot to the point of being painful, which comes […]
Little Zachary was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything… tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centers. In short, everything they could think of to help his math. Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school. After the first day, little Zachary […]
Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.
Finally fed up, God said, "THAT’S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run […]
Costello Wants to buy a Computer from Abbott.
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Yes. I’m setting up an office in my den, and I’m thinking about buying a computer.
COSTELLO: No, the names Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. […]
A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I’ll be right back."
"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.
Please allow me to vent. I have had it. I’ve taken all I can stand and I can’t stand no more. Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is effeminate men prancing about, Redecorating houses and talking about foreign concepts like "style" and "feng shui." Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; […]
Ask not for whom the bell tolls… IT TOLLS FOR THEE!
Twelve monks were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy and beautiful big breasted nude model danced before them. Each monk had a small bell attached […]
A guy is walking along the shoreline at the beach wearing just a pair of cut-off jeans. Sure enough he kicks up a bottle, pulls the cork, and out comes the Genie to give him one wish. The guy pulls out a map of the Middle East, and asks the Genie if he can bring […]
ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE?
Because no-one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb, that’s why.
They don’t even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS! Before they figured it OUT!. And once they […]