Weapons of Math Destruction

At New York’s Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a […]

Teacher

TEACHER: Why are you late? STUDENT: Class started before I got here. ____________________________________   TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: Maria. ____________________________________ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to […]

Anger Management

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know, but you know deserves it.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I’d forgotten to make.

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The Fertilized Egg Business

John was in the fertilized egg business.

He had several hundred young layers (hens), called ‘pullets,’ and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to […]

Big-People Words

A group of children were trying very hard to become accustomed to Nursery school. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk! You need to use ‘Big People’ words, she was always reminding them.

She asked John what he had done over the weekend? ‘I went to visit my […]

Saint Nancy Pelosi

On a Saturday afternoon, in Washington, D. C., House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s aide visited the Cardinal of the Catholic cathedral.

He told the Cardinal that Nancy Pelosi would be attending the next day’s sermon, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Pelosi to the congregation and say a few words that would […]

The Twelve Days of Christmas

December 14, 1972

My dearest darling John:

Who ever in the whole world would dream of getting a real Partridge in a Pear Tree? How can I ever express my pleasure. Thank you a hundred times for thinking of me this way.

My love always, Agnes

December 15, 1972

Microsoft and the Catholic Church

VATICAN CITY (AP) — In a joint press conference in St. Peter’s Square this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican announced that the Redmond software giant will acquire the Roman Catholic Church in exchange for an unspecified number of shares of MICROSOFT common stock. If the deal goes through, it will be the first time […]

Sister Magdalene

It was time for Father John’s Saturday night bath, and the young nun, Sister Magdalene, had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John’s nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and […]

Weapons of Math Destruction

At New York’s Kennedy airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set-square, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney-General John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member […]