The Hollywood Agent

This good looking, multi-talented man walks into an agent’s office in Hollywood and says "I want to be a movie star. " Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials.

The agent asked, "What’s your name?"

The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian."

The agent said, "Sir, I hate […]

Abbott & Costello and the Computer

Costello Wants to buy a Computer from Abbott.

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Yes. I’m setting up an office in my den, and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the names Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. […]

Phone Messages

WE ARE BORG. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. But we’re not home right now. So leave a message at the tone, and we’ll assimilate you later.

Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

Hello, […]