A little girl was walking along a beach in California when she came across a man with no clothes on and just a newspaper covering his genitals. The little girl said, "What do you have under that newspaper, Mister?"
The man said, "Nothing, it’s just a bird, now go away!"
The man thought nothing […]
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she […]
Things you can do with absolutely nothing…
Push your eyes for interesting light show: (Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes. Try to make out things – is your subconscious trying to send you a message? Can you control what you see by pressing different areas with different forces? Would […]
An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived at the casino.
She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice.
She said, ‘I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude’.
With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with […]
This is the story of the night my ten-year-old cat, Rudy, got his head stuck in the garbage disposal. I knew at the time that the experience would be funny if the cat survived, so let me tell you right up front that he’s fine. Getting him out wasn’t easy, though, and the process included […]
I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I’ve used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new […]
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of […]
A father and son went hunting together For the first time.
The father said: "Stay here and be very QUIET I’ll be across the field."
A few minutes later the father heard a blood curdling scream and ran back to his son.
"What’s wrong?" the father asked. "I told you to be […]
Mr.Vance comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck:
"I have great news: I’m a month overdue. I think we’re going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can’t tell anybody."
The next day, Mrs.Vance receives a telephone […]
Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth […]