Prince Charles

Prince Charles decided to take up walking every day.

At the same street corner he passed, a hooker was standing there every day.

He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow. "One hundred and fifty pounds!" she’d shout.

"No! Five pounds!" he said from […]

Truck Stop Cafe

A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."

The new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "The trucker out there just ordered three flat […]

From the Mouths of Children…

1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm Summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!"

[…]

The Girls Night Out

Two women friends had gone for a girl’s night out. They both were very faithful and loving wives, however, they approached the Bacardi Breezers with a little too much enthusiasm.

Incredibly drunk & walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she […]

The Science of Santa

No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer, which only Santa has ever seen. There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT […]

The Sexual Urges of Men and Women

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were […]

Bob and the Potato

Bob liked to frequent the Newfoundland beaches but was never able to attract the girls. He decided to ask his friend Garge the lifeguard for advice.

"It’s those big baggy swimming trunks that make you look like an old bloke.

They’re years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Speedos […]

The Colorado Woods

While walking through the Colorado woods a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly  against the tree.

Seeing this he inquired, "Just out of curiosity what  the heck are you doing?"

"I’m listening  to the music of the tree," the other man replied.

"You gotta be kiddin’ me."

"No, would you […]

A Soldier in Uniform

A Soldier in uniform, running very hard came upon a nun standing on the road. He asked her, "Please Sister, may I hide under your skirts for a few minutes. I’ll explain WHY later."

Thought unusual, the nun agreed to his request.

Shortly thereafter, two Military Police came running along and asked her if she […]

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and they both go before St. Peter to find out if they’ll be admitted to heaven.

Unfortunately, there’s only one space left that day, so St. Peter must decide which of them gets in.

St. Peter asks Dolly if there’s some particular reason why […]