The Worst Day of My Life

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha’ gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn’t think you’d […]

Anger Management

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know, but you know deserves it.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I’d forgotten to make.

[…]

Car Air Conditioning

The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Maxwell, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner.

On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees. The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford’s office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation […]

Rudy the Cat and the Garbage Disposal Unit

This is the story of the night my ten-year-old cat, Rudy, got his head stuck in the garbage disposal. I knew at the time that the experience would be funny if the cat survived, so let me tell you right up front that he’s fine. Getting him out wasn’t easy, though, and the process included […]

A New Sign in the Bank Lobby

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have […]

The Biker and the Lady

A biker stops by the Harley Shop to have his bike fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and an anvil. He stopped by the feed store/livestock dealer […]

The Sisters of Mercy

A man was driving down a deserted highway when he noticed a sign that read: "SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION — 10 MILES."

Thinking it was a figment of his imagination, he drove on. Soon, he saw another sign which said: "SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION — 5 MILES."

Realizing these signs were […]

Drinking Guinness

Three men had a very late night drinking Guinness. They left in the early morning hours and went home separately. They met the next day for an early pint, and compared notes about who was drunker.

The first guy claims that he was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home, walked into the house, and […]