George and Oprah

George Burns was on the Oprah Winfrey Show, and bragged that despite his 97 years, he could still have sex three times a night.

After the show, Oprah said, "George, if I’m not being too forward, I’d love to have sex with an older man. Let’s go back to my place."

So they go back […]

The Ventriloquist

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he’s doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he’s going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I’ve heard […]

Show and Tell

The teacher asked the students to bring one electrical appliance for "Show & Tell," and the next day every kid had something.  The teacher asks Wendy: What did you bring?  "I brought a Walkman." "And what is it for?" "You can listen to music with it!" "That’s nice Wendy. What did you bring Kenny?" "I […]

Men and Women

HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN EVERY TIME

Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savour, massage, make plans, fix, empathise, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalise, bathe, humour, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice for, ply, accessorise, leave, return, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, […]

The Two Nuns

Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Helen, are travelling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a diminutive Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.

"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Marilyn. "What shall we do?"

"Turn the […]