Teacher

TEACHER: Why are you late? STUDENT: Class started before I got here. ____________________________________   TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: Maria. ____________________________________ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to […]

Spanish Computers

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

‘House’ for instance, is feminine: ‘la casa.’

‘Pencil,’ however, is masculine: ‘el lapiz.’

A student asked, ‘What gender is ‘computer’?’

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male […]

Gifts for the Teacher

On the last day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher.

The florist’s son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.

The candy-store owner’s daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.

Then the liquor-store  owner’s son brought up a big, heavy box.

The teacher lifted it up and noticed that […]

Jessica and the Rabbits

Teacher: If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have? Jessica : Seven Sir Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have? Jessica: Seven Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. […]

Suzuki, the Son of a Japanese Businessman

It was the first day of school and a new student named Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, "Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for young Suzuki; "Patrick Henry, […]

…and the Moral of the Story is…

One day at the end of class little Gunner’s teacher had the class go home and think of a story and then conclude with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asked for the first volunteer to tell a story; little Suzy raised her hand. 

"My dad owns a farm and every […]

Give Me a Story with a Moral

A teacher gave her fifth-grade class an assignment: have their parents tell them a story with a moral. The next day the kids came to class, and one by one, told their stories. Kathy raised her hand first and said, "We live on a farm and we have hens that lay eggs for market. Once […]

Show and Tell

The teacher asked the students to bring one electrical appliance for "Show & Tell," and the next day every kid had something.  The teacher asks Wendy: What did you bring?  "I brought a Walkman." "And what is it for?" "You can listen to music with it!" "That’s nice Wendy. What did you bring Kenny?" "I […]

A Frog at a Kindergarten

One of the teachers had a kindergartner come up to her and say that he found a frog.

The teacher asked if the frog was alive or dead.

The student said it was dead.

The teacher asked how he knew.

The boy said, "I pissed in its ear."

The teacher said, "You what?"

He said, […]