The Fertilized Egg Business

John was in the fertilized egg business.

He had several hundred young layers (hens), called ‘pullets,’ and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to […]

The Young Chinese Couple

A young Chinese couple gets married. She’s a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin also, but she doesn’t know that.

On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness. He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring.

‘My darring,’ he […]

Three Girls on the Porch

A nice man walks past a house and sees three girls sitting on their front porch. He stops and says to the first little girl, "Hello little girl, what’s your name?"

She replies, "My name is Petal, because when my mother was pregnant with me, a petal landed on her tummy." The man said, "That’s […]

Phone Messages

WE ARE BORG. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. But we’re not home right now. So leave a message at the tone, and we’ll assimilate you later.

Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

Hello, […]

The Pager

Lil’ Johnny’s mother took him with her to the bank on a busy Friday. They were in line behind a rather obese lady wearing a business suit, complete with a pager. As the mother patiently waited, Lil’ Johnny looked at the women in front of him and observed loudly, "Hey, Mom, she’s REALLY FAT."

The […]