A Very Successful Attorney

A very successful attorney parked his brand new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he was getting out, a truck came along too closely and completely tore off the driver’s door.

Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident […]

Crows

Who said that crows were smart.

I heard that they found about 200 dead crows near Halifax , and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.

They had a Bird Pathologist examine the remains of all the crows, and he confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu, to […]

Truck Stop Cafe

A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."

The new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "The trucker out there just ordered three flat […]

Analogies and Metaphors

Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year’s winners.

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides […]

Analalogies and Metaphors in High School Essays

Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year’s winners.

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides […]

A Knock on the Front Door

This guy is sitting at home alone when he ears a knock on the front door. There are two sheriff’s deputies there; he asks if there is a problem. One of the deputies asks if he is married, and if so, can he see a picture of his wife. The guy says "sure " and […]

Jesus’ Golf Shot

Jesus and Saint Peter are golfing. St. Peter steps up to the tee on a par three and hits one long and straight. It reaches the green. Jesus is up next. He slices it. It heads over the fence into traffic on an adjacent street. Bounces off a truck, onto the roof of a nearby […]

4×4 Camping Trip

Mike was attending his 4X4 club’s monthly meeting and had just told them he couldn’t make the camping trip scheduled for the next  day because his wife wouldn’t let him go.

After listening to the jeers and other derisive remarks from  his fellow 4X4 friends Mike left to go back home to his  wife. When […]

Clyde and Bessie

A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning Clyde.

"Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine,?" asked the lawyer.

Clyde responded, "Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie…"

"I didn’t ask for any details", […]

A Fully Loaded Rig

A truck driver was driving his fully loaded rig to the top of a steep hill.

Just as he was starting down the equally steep slope on the otherside, he noticed a man and a woman lying in the centre of  the road, making wild and passionate love.

In total disbelief, he blew his […]