Professional Gambler

During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I’d like to buy the house a round of drinks."

The bartender said, "That’s fine, but we’re in the middle of the Depression, so I’ll need to see some money […]

Fishing

I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn’t bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put […]

Dalton McGuinty’s Chauffeur

Dalton McGuinty was touring the countryside in his chauffeur-driven limo.

Suddenly, a donkey jumps out onto the road, they hit it full on and the car comes to a stop. McGuinty says to the chauffeur: ‘You get out and check, you were driving.’

The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead.

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The Professional Gambler at the Bar

A man walked into a bar room one day. He walked up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I’d like to buy the house a round of drinks". The bartender said, "No problem sir, but I’ll need to see some money first". The guy pulls out a huge wad of bills and sets them on […]

The Old Prospector

An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule.   The old man headed straight for the only saloon to clear his parched throat. He walked up and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.  As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger […]

A Story With a Moral

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end. Next day in school, the kids, each in turn, began to tell their stories.

‘Janie, do you have a story to share?’

‘Yes ma’am. My daddy told me a story about […]

Singing the Blues

I’m not usually one for lists of this nature but this is a ripper…

Understanding the Blues and or wanting to become an instant success is all about telling a story – if you can’t sing – that’s a plus. Now let’s get started on your new career (don’t forget to leave your sunny disposition […]

Monty Python’s Philosopher’s Song

I always wanted to know the words to Monty Python’s Philosopher’s Song. Here they are, forever on Grime:

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant Who was very rarely stable Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar Who could think you under the table David Hume could out consume Schopenhauer and Hegel And Wittgenstein was a […]

…and the Moral of the Story is…

One day at the end of class little Gunner’s teacher had the class go home and think of a story and then conclude with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asked for the first volunteer to tell a story; little Suzy raised her hand. 

"My dad owns a farm and every […]

A Beautiful Deserted Island

On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:

2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman

2 French men and 1 French woman

2 German men and 1 German woman

2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman

2 English men and 1 English woman

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