You Idiot

A woman was letting her husband have it with just a touch more venom than usual.

"You’re an idiot. You have always been an idiot. You’ll always be an idiot. If they had an idiot contest, you’d come in second."

"Why would I come in second?" the brow-beaten husband asked.

"Because you’re an idiot!"

[…]

George and Oprah

George Burns was on the Oprah Winfrey Show, and bragged that despite his 97 years, he could still have sex three times a night.

After the show, Oprah said, "George, if I’m not being too forward, I’d love to have sex with an older man. Let’s go back to my place."

So they go back […]

The Woman Robot

The Japanese have invented the perfect woman robot. It has 5 buttons.

Fuck Suck Cook Clean Off

Archaeology in Jerusalem

A team of archaeologists were working in Jerusalem when they found a slab of rock with five figures carved on it. In order the figures were: 

A Woman  A Donkey  A Shovel  A Fish  A Star of David. 

After months of studying the rock and figures on it, the leader took the rock and […]

Men and Women

HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN EVERY TIME

Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savour, massage, make plans, fix, empathise, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalise, bathe, humour, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice for, ply, accessorise, leave, return, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, […]

Pickle

Two guys work in a morgue, and one of them tells the other one: "You should have seen this woman they brought in last week. They pulled her out of the water after she’d been there for three weeks. Man, I’m tellin’ you, she had a clitoris like a pickle."

"What", the other asks, "green?"

[…]