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The Humble Crab

A humble crab fell in love with Princess Lobster and she with him. They enjoyed an idyllic relationship but one day Princess Lobster came to Crab in floods of tears saying that King Lobster would not let her see Crab any more.

"But why?" gasped the humble crab.

"Daddy says that crabs are too common," sobbed the princess. "You’re a lower class of crustacean, and anyway, you walk sideways."

Crab was shattered and scuttled away to drink himself into forgetfulness. That night was the occasion of the great Lobster Ball. Lobsters came from far and near for feasting and merrymaking. Only Princess Lobster sat by her father’s side, inconsolable. Suddenly, the doors flew open. It was the humble crab. Slowly, painstakingly, he made his way to the throne – walking straight, one claw after another. Step by painful step he approached until he looked King Lobster in the eye. There was a deadly hush. Finally Crab spoke up: "Fuck, I’m pissed!"

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