Australian National Poetry Contest
1-XI-1999

The finals of the Australian National Poetry contest last year came down to 2 finalists. One was a Melbourne University Law School graduate from an upper-crust family. He was well bred and well connected.

The other finalist was a bogan from Broadmeadows TAFE. The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word 'Timbuktu'. The Melbourne uni grad went first.

About 30 seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following:

"Slowly across the desert sand

Trekked the dusty caravan

Men on camels, two by two

Destination - Timbuktu."

The audience went wild. How, they wondered, could the Broadmeadows bogan top that?? The clock started again and the second contestant sat in silent thought. Finally in the last few seconds, he jumped up and recited:

"Tim and me, a-huntin' went.

Met three girls in a pop-up tent.

They was three, we was two,

So I bucked one and Timbuktu."

He Won.