The Duck 
20-III-2000

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich. The landlord looks at him and says, "But you're a duck!"
"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.
"And you talk!" exclaims the landlord.
"I see your ears are working, too," says the duck. "Can I have my beer and sandwich now, please?"
"Certainly," says the landlord. "I'm sorry about that - it's just that we don't get too many ducks in this pub, especially ones that can talk. What are you doing round this way?"
"I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck. So the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves. This continues for about two weeks, then one day the circus comes to town. The ringmaster of the circus comes into the pub and the landlord says to him, "You're with the circus, aren't you?
I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, he drinks beer.....he's amazing!"
"Sounds marvellous," says the ringmaster. "Get him to give me a call."
The next day, the duck comes into the pub for lunch. The landlord says, "Hey Mr Duck. I reckon I can line you up with a top job paying really good money!"
"Yeah? Sounds great. Where is it?" asks the duck.
"At the circus," says the landlord.
"The circus?"
"That's right."
"The circus? That place with the big tent? With all the animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle?"
"That's right!" says the landlord.
The duck looks confused, and asks "What the fuck do they want with a plasterer?"