Telecom Call Centre

7-VII-2003

This is apparently a true story which happened in the Telecom Call Centre in Lower Hutt (just north of Wellington, New Zealand). The operator received a call from a somewhat irate and very worried Pacific Islander who it seems needed some urgent marriage guidance.

The call went like this:

Telecom: How may we help you?

Customer: I haff a big problem with my phone bill. My wife, she think I haffing an affair!

Telecom: Okay sir, and how can we help you with this?

Customer: My bill haff all these calls to Salulah and my wife think I haffing an affair with this woman but I never heard off her before. I need to trace these calls please.

Telecom: Sir, I'm sorry but the bill won't actually tell you the name of the person you're calling, just their number.

Customer: This one iss.

Telecom: What phone do you have sir?

Customer: A mobile. I tell you this.

Telecom: No sir, what make? What do you have in your hands?

Customer: An erection.

After a moment's silence, the gallant Telecom worker continued:

Telecom: Um, sir? Could you spell that for me?

Customer: For sure - E..R..I..C..S..S..O..N. Erection.

Another moment's silence from Telecom and suddenly the penny dropped.

Telecom: Sir? Can you spell Salulah for me?

Customer: For sure. C..E..L..L..U..L..A...R. Salulah.

The end of the conversation was unfortunately reported.