The Departing Rabbi

12-X-2003

There is a story about a popular young Rabbi, who on Sabbath eve announces to the congregation that he will not renew his contract and is moving on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.

There is a hush.

No one wants him to leave.

Epstein, who owns several car dealerships, stands up and announces, "If the Rabbi stays, I'll provide him with a new sedan every year, and his lovely wife with a minivan, to transport their children!"

The congregation sighs, and applauds.

Goldstein, the entrepreneur and investor stands and says, "If the Rabbi stays, I'll double his salary, and establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of his children!!"

More sighs and applause.

Mrs. Goldfarb, aged 70, stands and announces, "If the Rabbi stays, I'll give him SEX!!"

There is a hush. The Rabbi, blushing, asks, "Mrs. Goldfarb, whatever possessed you to say that?"

Mrs. Goldfarb answers, "I just asked My husband how we could help, and he said, 'Fuck the Rabbi.'"