The Monday Morning Mirth

Tag: Air Force One

  • Tragedy

    George W. Bush was visiting an elementary school, and the 4th grade class he sat through began a discussion related to words and their meanings.

    The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the class in a discussion of the word "tragedy." So, George W. asked the class for an example of a tragedy.

    One boy stood up and said, "If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy."

    "No," said Bush, "that would be an accident."

    A girl raised her hand and said, "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone on board, that would be a tragedy."

    "I’m afraid not," the President said. "That’s what we would call a Great Loss."

    The room went silent. No other children volunteered. President Bush searched the room and asked, "Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

    Finally, way in the back of the room, Johnny raised his hand, and in a quiet voice, he said, "If Air Force One, carrying Mr. and Mrs. Bush, was struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens, THAT would be a tragedy."

    "That’s right! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?"  asked the President.

    "Well," Johnny said, "because it wouldn’t be an accident and it sure as hell wouldn’t be a Great Loss…"

  • President Obama in London

    As Air Force One arrives at Heathrow Airport, President Obama strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen.

    They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London, where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They continue on towards Buckingham Palace, waving to the thousands of cheering Britons; all is going well.

    Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous earth shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire. The smell is atrocious and both passengers in the carriage must use handkerchiefs over their noses. The fart shakes the coach, but the two dignitaries of State do their best to ignore the incident.

    The Queen turns to President Obama, " Mr. President, please accept my regrets… I  am sure you understand there are some things that even a Queen cannot control."

    Obama, always trying to be "Presidential", replied: "Your Majesty, do not give the matter another thought… Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses.