The Monday Morning Mirth

Tag: ARMY

  • General Reinwald

    This is an exact replication of National Public Radio interview between a female broadcaster and US Army General Reinwald, who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.

    FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your post?

    GENERAL REINWALD: We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.

    FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?

    GENERAL REINWALD: I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

    FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

    GENERAL REINWALD: I don’t see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

    FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you’re equipping them to become violent killers !

    GENERAL REINWALD: Well, you’re equipped to be a prostitute, but you’re not one…… are you?

  • A British Army Colonel

    A British Army Colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial India.
    One man he passed sported an enormous erection.
    "Sergeant-Major!" the colonel shouted. "Give this man 30 days compassionate home leave."
    "Yessir," the Sgt. Major replied.
    A few months later the same thing occurred with the same man. 
    "Sergeant-Major! Give this man another 30 days compassionate home leave," the Colonel barked.
    A few months later, same guy, same problem.
    The Colonel is angry. "Sergeant-Major! Haven’t we given this man two compassionate home leaves?"
    "Yessir," the Sgt. Major replies.
    "Then what’s his problem, Sgt. Major?" the Colonel asks.
    The Sgt. Major salutes and says, "Sir. It’s you he’s fond of."

  • How Many Women with PMS Does it Take to Screw in a Light Bulb?

    One.

    ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE?

    Because no-one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb, that’s why.

    They don’t even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS! Before they figured it OUT!. And once they figured it out they wouldn’t be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they’ve been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS.

    But if they did, by some miracle, find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!!!!AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN. WHY??? BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT’S A WONDER WE HAVEN’T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! THE HOUSE!!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS……..