Tag: Breasts

  • Toaster Refund

    She goes into Wal-Mart and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it doesn’t work. The clerk tells her that he can’t give her a refund because she bought it on sale.

    All of a sudden, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming! "GRAB MY BREASTS! GRAB MY BREASTS!"

    The clerk, not knowing what to do, runs to get the store manager. The manager comes up to the Woman and asks, "What’s wrong?"

    She explains the situation with the toaster. He tells her that he can’t give her a refund because she bought it on sale.

    Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming, "GRAB MY BREASTS! GRAB MY BREASTS!" In shock, the store manager pleads, "Ma’am, why are you saying that?"

    In a huff, the woman says, "BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY BREASTS GRABBED WHEN I’M GETTING SCREWED!"

    Her money was instantly refunded.

  • Small Breasts

    Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror, complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of automatically telling me it’s not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion:

    "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."

    Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and I stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.

    "How long will this take?" I ask. "They will grow larger over a period of years," he replies.

    I stop. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"

    Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your ass, didn’t it?"

    He’s still alive, and with a great deal of physio-therapy, he may even walk again.

    Stupid, stupid man.