The Monday Morning Mirth

Tag: Ears

  • The Deaf Dog

    My neighbour found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian.

    He found the problem was hair in its ears and cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine. The vet told the lady if she wanted to keep this from re-occurring she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub in its ears once a month.

    The lady goes to the drug store and gets some "Nair" hair remover.

    At the register the druggist tells her "If you’re going to use this under your arms don’t use deodorant for a few days."

    The lady says "I’m not using it under my arms."

    The druggist says "If you’re using it on your legs don’t shave for a couple of days."

    The lady says "I’m not using it on my legs either and if you must know I’m using it on my schnauzer."

    The druggist says "Stay off your bicycle for a week."

  • Sadly, Dave was Born without Ears

    Sadly, Dave was born without ears, and though he proved to be successful in business, his problem annoyed him greatly.

    One day, he needed to hire a new manager for his company, so he set up three interviews.

    The first guy was great.

    He knew everything he needed to know and was very interesting.

    But at the end of the interview, Dave asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?"

    "Why, yes, I couldn’t help but notice that you have no ears," came the reply.

    Dave did not appreciate his candour and threw him out of the office.

    The second interview was with a woman, and she was even better than the first guy.

    But Dave asked her the same question:

    "Do you notice anything different about me?"

    "Well," she said stammering, "you have no ears."

    Dave again got upset and chucked her out in a rage.

    The third and final interviewee was the best of the bunch, he was a young man who had recently earned his MBA.

    He was smart.

    He was handsome. He seemed to be a better businessman than the first two put together.

    Dave was anxious, but went ahead and asked the young man the same question:

    "Do you notice anything different about me?"

    Much to his surprise, the young man answered, "Yes, you wear contact lenses, don’t you?"

    Dave was shocked and realized this was an incredibly observant person.

    "How in the world did you know that?", he asked.

    The young man fell off his chair laughing hysterically and replied, "Well, it’s pretty hard to wear glasses with no ears!"