The Monday Morning Mirth

Tag: Head Nurse

  • The Head Nurse

    A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have  anything to do with him.


    The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature."

    After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.

    "No, I’m sorry," the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can’t use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind.

    After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce,"I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!"

    She left the door to his room open on her way out. He cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door, laughing…..

    After about 20 minutes, the man’s doctor came into the room. "What’s going on here?" asked the doctor.

    Angrily, the man answered, "What’s the matter, Doc? Haven’t you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?"

    After a pause, the doctor confessed… "Not with a Daffodil."

  • Husband and Wife Golfers

    Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

    One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ralph out.

    When the Head Nurse became aware of Edna’s heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

    When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he’s dead."

    Edna replied "He didn’t hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"

  • Ralph and Edna

    Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

    One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ralph out.

    When the Head Nurse became aware of Edna’s heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

    When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he’s dead."

    Edna replied "He didn’t hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"