Tag: Horse Pretty

  • The Bedouin and the Ventriloquist

    An American ventriloquist visiting Saudi Arabia walks Into a small village and sees a Bedouin (villager) sitting outside his tent patting his sheep dog. 

    He figures he’ll have a little fun, so he says to the Saudi  ‘Salaam, mind if I talk to your dog?’ 

    Bedouin: ‘The dog doesn’t talk, you stupid American.’

    Ventriloquist: ‘Hello dog, how’s it going ?’

    Dog: ‘Yeah, doin’ all right.’ 

    Bedouin: (look of extreme shock) 

    Ventriloquist: ‘Is this Bedouin your owner?’  (pointing at the Villager)

    Dog: ‘Yep’ 

    Ventriloquist: ‘How does he treat you?’ 

    Dog: ‘Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me Great food And takes me to the wadi (lake) once a week to play.’ 

    Bedouin: (look of utter disbelief)

    Ventriloquist: ‘Mind if I talk to your horse?’

    Bedouin: ‘Uh, the horse doesn’t talk either…I think.’ 

    Ventriloquist: ‘Hey horse, how’s it going?’

    Horse: ‘Cool’

    Bedouin: (absolutely dumbfounded) 

    Ventriloquist: ‘Is this your owner?’  (Pointing at the villager) 

    Horse: ‘Yep’

    Ventriloquist: How does he treat you? 

    Horse: ‘Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the tent to protect me from hot sun.’

    Bedouin: (total look of amazement) 

    Ventriloquist: ‘Mind if I talk to your sheep?’

    Bedouin: (in a panic) "No no! The sheep’s a bloody liar!!"

  • The Australian Ventriloquist

    An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small town and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he’ll have a little fun.

    Ventriloquist: "G’day Mate! Good looking dog, mate. Mind if I speak to him?"
    New Zealander: "The dog doesn’t talk, you stupid Aussie."
    Ventriloquist: "Hey dog, how’s it going old mate?"
    Dog: "Doin’ alright."
    New Zealander: extreme look of shock
    Ventriloquist: "Is this Kiwi your owner?" pointing at New Zealander
    Dog: "Yep"
    Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
    Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
    New Zealander: look of disbelief
    Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
    New Zealander: "Uh, the horse doesn’t talk either…I think."
    Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how’s it going?"
    Horse: "Cool."
    New Zealander: extreme look of shock
    Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" pointing at New Zealander
    Horse: "Yep"
    Ventriloquist: "How’s he treat you?"
    Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
    New Zealander: total look of amazement
    Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
    New Zealander: "THE SHEEP’S A LIAR."