The Monday Morning Mirth

Tag: Indian Chief

  • The Wise Old Indian Chief

    An old Indian chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a ceremonial pipe and eyeing two U.S. government officials sent to interview him. "Chief Two Eagles" asked one official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You’ve seen his wars and his technological advances. You’ve seen his progress, and the damage he’s done."

    The Chief nodded in agreement.
    The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"

    The Chief stared at the government officials for over a minute and then calmly replied "When white man found the land, Indians were running it.

    We had …………

    No taxes,

    No debt,

    Plenty buffalo,

    Plenty beaver,

    Women doing all the work,

    Free Medicine Man,

    Hunting and fishing all day, all night long having sex."

    Then the chief leaned back and smiled …..

    "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."

  • Big Indian Chief

    One day a big Indian Chief goes to his local pharmacy. He goes up to the clerk and says, "Last night me do squaw, left nut go ‘oomph’, right nut go ‘oomph’, dick go ‘oomph’, condom go BOOM!"

    Now the clerk was quite impressed by this sexual feat so he grabbed some Trojans for professionals and tells the Chief to come back and tell him how they work for him.

    The next day, the big Chief comes back to the pharmacy, goes right up to the clerk and gruffly says, "Last night me do squaw, left nut go ‘oomph’, right nut go ‘oomph’, dick go ‘oomph’, condom go BOOM!"

    The clerk thinks to himself, "Damn, this guy must have some kind of super ejaculation going on." So he goes into the back of the store and gets a prototype condom for the Chief. The description on the box reads, "This is a joint effort between Goodyear and Michelin. This condom is steel belted and should only be used in extreme circumstances."

    The clerk hands the condom to the Chief and tells him about the special condoms, and to report back to him on how well they work for him.

    The next day, the Chief comes back on crutches with a shotgun under his arm. He storms up to the clerk. The clerk is thinking, "Oh Shit! The condom must not have worked and he’s really pissed."

    The Chief looks at the clerk and yells, "Last night me do squaw!! Left nut go ‘oomph’, right nut go ‘oomph’, dick go ‘oomph’, condom go ‘oomph’, left nut go ‘BOOM’!"