The Monday Morning Mirth

Tag: LONG

  • The Password

    A woman is helping her computer illiterate husband set up his computer. She instructs him to choose and enter a password he wants to use, when logging on.

    The husband, in a rather amorous mood, figures he will try for a shock effect to bring his mood to his wife’s attention. So when the computer asks him to enter his password, he makes it plainly obvious to his wife that he is keying in the word, “PENIS”.

    His wife nearly falls off the he chair from laughing so hard, when the computer replies:

    ***PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH.***

  • Ernesto, the Caretaker

    At dawn the telephone rings, ‘Hello, Senor Rod?  This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house.’
    ‘Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you?  Is there a problem?’
    ‘Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead.’
    ‘My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?’
    ‘Si, Senor, that’s the one.’
    ‘Damn! That’s a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did die from?’
    ‘From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod.’
    ‘Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?’
    ‘Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse.’
    ‘Dead horse? What dead horse?’
    ‘The thoroughbred, Senor Rod.’
    ‘My prize thoroughbred is dead?’ 
    ‘Yes Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart.’
    ‘Are you insane?? What water cart?’
    ‘The one we used to put out the fire, Senor.’
    ‘Good Lord!! What fire are you talking about, man??’
    ‘The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire.’
    ‘What the hell?? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because a candle ?? !!
    ‘Yes, Senor Rod.’ 
    ‘But there’s electricity at the house!!  What was the candle for?’
    ‘For the funeral, Senor Rod.’
    ‘WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!’ 
    ‘Your wife’s, Senor Rod.  She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new TaylorMade SuperQuad 460 golf club.’
    SILENCE……….. LONG SILENCE……….
    ‘Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you’re in some deep shit here!’ .