Tag: Looks

  • Three Labradors

    Three Labrador retrievers – one brown, one yellow and one black – were sitting in the waiting room at the vet’s office when they struck up a conversation. The black lab turned to the brown and said, "So why are you here?"

    The brown lab replied, "I’m a pisser. I piss on everything – the sofa, the drapes, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner’s bed."

    The black lab said, "So what is the vet going to do?"

    "Gonna give me Prozac," came the reply from the brown lab. "All the vets are prescribing it. It works for everything."

    The black lab then turned to the yellow lab and asked, "Why are you here?"

    The yellow lab said, "I’m a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I’m inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owner’s couch."

    "So what are they going to do to you?" the black lab inquired.

    "Looks like Prozac for me too," the dejected yellow lab said.

    The yellow lab then turned to the black lab and asked, "Why are you at the vet’s office?"

    "I’m a humper," the black lab said. "I’ll hump anything. I’ll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fire hydrants, whatever. I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn’t help myself. I hopped on her back and started humping away."

    The yellow and brown labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, Prozac for you too, huh?"

    The black lab said, "No, I’m here to get my nails clipped."

  • The Penguin

    Once there was a penguin on his way to Arizona for a holiday. On his way, he noticed that his car had high oil pressure so he stopped to see what the problem was. On realising that his car had an oil leak he pulls into the next town to a garage. While it is being fixed he decides to look around the town. Being a penguin, he decides that a nice cold ice-cream could be good but not having any hands he gets himself into quite a mess trying to eat it with his little flippers. When he goes back to the garage to pick up his car, he asks the mechanic "What’s the problem?" The mechanic looks up and says "Looks like you blew a seal."

    "Oh, no, no," the penguin replies looking embarrassed, "That’s just ice-cream".

  • The Lone Ranger

    Tonto and The Lone Ranger are riding across the prairie, when they are surrounded by 10,000 Comanche Indians. The Lone Ranger sets up in his saddle, looks around and says "Well Tonto, Looks like we’re surrounded!".

    Tonto looks around and says "What’s this "WE" shit, white boy?"