A man, having applied to join the Los Lunas, New Mexico, police force, is being interviewed by the chief.
The Chief says, ‘Your qualifications are first rate but there is one important test that you must pass before I can hire you.’
Sliding a small bag across the desk, he continues. ‘Take this gun with 13 bullets, go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six Obama voters, and a rabbit.’
The man asks, ‘Why the rabbit?’
‘Fantastic attitude!’ says the Chief, ‘When can you start?’
Many will recall that on July 8, 1947, witnesses claimed that an unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico.
This is a well-known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and the federal government.
However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of March 1948, exactly nine months after that historic day, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfield, Bill O’Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Condolezza Rice, and Dan Quayle were all born.
See what happens when aliens breed with sheep. This piece of info may clarify a lot of things.
Two aliens landed in the New Mexico desert near a gas station that had been closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger of the two aliens addressed it.
"Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."
The gas pump (of course) didn’t respond. The younger alien started to get mad at the lack of response and the older one said, "I wouldn’t do that if I were you."
The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated the greeting
Again, there was no response. Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump’s haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader, or I will fire."
The older alien again warned his comrade, "You don’t want to do that. You really don’t want to make him mad!"
"Rubbish," replied the younger alien.
He aimed his weapon at the pump and fired. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared outwards and towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him in a burnt and crumpled mess 200 yards away in a cactus patch.
Thirty-five Earth minutes later, when he finally regained consciousness, refocused his three eyes and straightened his bent antenna, he looked dazedly up at the wiser one, who was standing over him, slowly shaking his big green head.
"What a ferocious creature," said the young fried one "It damn near killed us! How did you know it was so dangerous?"
The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler onto the crispy, peeling flesh and shared some knowledge.
"If there’s one thing I’ve learned during my travels through the galaxy", said the wise old alien. "When a guy has a dick he can wrap around himself twice and then stick it in his ear, you don’t mess with him."