This is apparently a true story which happened in the Telecom Call Centre in Lower Hutt (just north of Wellington, New Zealand). The operator received a call from a somewhat irate and very worried Pacific Islander who it seems needed some urgent marriage guidance.
The call went like this:
Telecom: How may we help you?
Customer: I haff a big problem with my phone bill. My wife, she think I haffing an affair!
Telecom: Okay sir, and how can we help you with this?
Customer: My bill haff all these calls to Salulah and my wife think I haffing an affair with this woman but I never heard off her before. I need to trace these calls please.
Telecom: Sir, I’m sorry but the bill won’t actually tell you the name of the person you’re calling, just their number.
Customer: This one iss.
Telecom: What phone do you have sir?
Customer: A mobile. I tell you this.
Telecom: No sir, what make? What do you have in your hands?
Customer: An erection.
After a moment’s silence, the gallant Telecom worker continued:
Telecom: Um, sir? Could you spell that for me?
Customer: For sure – E..R..I..C..S..S..O..N. Erection.
Another moment’s silence from Telecom and suddenly the penny dropped.
Telecom: Sir? Can you spell Salulah for me?
Customer: For sure. C..E..L..L..U..L..A…R. Salulah.
The end of the conversation was unfortunately reported.