The Monday Morning Mirth

Tag: TRAIN

  • Big-People Words

    A group of children were trying very hard to become accustomed to Nursery school. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk!
    You need to use ‘Big People’ words, she was always reminding them.

    She asked John what he had done over the weekend?
    ‘I went to visit my Nana’.
    No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER.
    Use ‘Big People’ words!’

    She then asked Mitchell what he had done
    ‘I took a ride on a choo-choo’.
    She said, ‘No, you took a ride on a TRAIN.
    You must remember to use ‘Big People’ words’.

    She then asked little Alex what he had done?
    ‘I read a book’ he replied.
    That’s WONDERFUL!’ the teacher said.
    ‘What book did you read?’
    Alex thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said, ‘Winnie the SHIT’.

  • Two Indians and a Tennessee Hillbilly

    Two Indians and a Tennessee Hillbilly were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo! He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

    The Hillbilly was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about. "Was the other Indian crazy or what?" The Indian replied "No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler ‘Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!’ into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there’s a beautiful woman in there waiting for us."

    Just then they came upon another cave. The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" Immediately, there was the answer. "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" from deep inside. He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.

    The Hillbilly wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, "Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!" He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"

    Like the others, he then heard an answering call, "WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!" With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran. The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read….

    NAKED HILLBILLY RUN OVER BY TRAIN